Now? In June 2016? I haven't worn jeans in about two months, thank you heat index. But I can guess that my size 12s are fitting much like those 8s did one short year ago... Tight. But zippable. (Whether or not I'd have to lay down is negotiable.)
I have gained 20-25 lbs over the past year, depending on how much of a bitch the scale feels like being that morning. And it's been hanging on, despite my best efforts and good intentions. So many times I have chosen the salad over the deep-dish pizza, only to get a donut the next day.
It's like the old saying: Fall seven times, stand up eight. I have mastered the art of falling, that's for sure. I fall straight into a cheeseburger more often than I'd like to admit.
But lately, I've come to appreciate the fact that even after all these falls, these headfirst dives, I keep getting up.
I. Keep. Getting. Up.
Losing weight is so, so difficult. It involves so many choices and a heck of a lot of willpower. And we spend so much time every day making choices and using our willpower in situations that have little to nothing to do with our diets.
Do I scream at my child for getting yogurt all over the table and nearby surfaces, or do I bite my tongue and calmly help her clean up her "art project"? Do I have time to wash my hair? What should I wear today? Do I lay on my horn and go all Mad Max Fury Road on the woman who cut me off on the way to work? What project demands my attention today? Do I make time for this meeting tonight or just find a way to skip it? Do I have enough time to run some errands before dinner? When my child starts acting like Satan in the middle of Academy, how should I react? When can I run these errands without the kid in tow? What on earth am I going to cook tonight? Do I really feel like doing the dishes or can they wait until tomorrow? Can I fit in a work out tonight or just watch TV? If I just watch TV, will I force myself to get up early and make it to the gym for 5 am?
So many choices.
It absolutely wears you down. And on top of all that, you have to find the willpower to skip the cookie at Starbucks when the annoyingly chipper barista offers, "Can I get you a snack to go with your iced coffee? Perhaps a toffeedoodle cookie?"
Perhaps you bite me.
The fact is, there will always be backslides and relapses and seasons of life that get in the way of your fitness goals. But you can do one of two things:
1. Give up.
2. Keep getting up.
Me? I'm going to keep getting up, as many times as it takes. I'm stubborn like that. And I am not going to quit on myself- I've come too far for that.