Monday, November 24, 2014

Steph Says: Weight Loss- An Epic Miniseries

Losing weight is like a never-ending, constantly-renewing, seventy-five part miniseries. A sweeping, epic television event with life-altering situations, multiple plot twists, villains, star-crossed lovers, award-winning cinematography, a heroine in disguise and a cliffhanger at the end of each season that keeps you coming back for more. It's a Netflix bingefest-worthy week-long spectacular that makes you stay up way later than any dignified lady should because you just. Cannot. Get. Enough. And you must know what happens next.

Except it's all in your head. And you're living it each and every day. It's a game you must play in order to survive and have your name show up in the opening credits of the next episode. Because nothing sucks more than when your favorite character is killed off mid-season. I'm still pissed off at Shonda Rhimes for killing Denny in season what? three? of Grey's Anatomy. Sorry if that needed a spoiler alert. It's been like a hot decade though, so can it really still be considered a spoiler? I digress. 
Girl, I feel you.
The life-altering situation: One day you wake up and you realize something's gotta change. And much like that awful movie Groundhog Day, you wake up with this same realization over and over and over again until you finally DO something about it. You do a workout DVD in your living room. You get rid of all the trashy food in your pantry. You start jogging. You join a gym. You stock up on fruits and veggies. You go for a walk. You do SOMETHING. And that one something turns into a lot of somethings and slowly but surely, those somethings become a part of who you are. And you start to love it.

Multiple plot twists: You will slip up. You will pig out on some chili cheese tots from Sonic (yea no that sooooo did not happen last night. Not even.) You will skip your run. You will get too busy to set foot inside your gym and you will make excuses. But the good news about multiple plot twists is that your perspective will shift, your schedule will miraculously open up (because you MAKE it open up), and you'll remember why it was so important for you to run/eat healthy/work out in the first place. And you will get back at it with a vengeance.

Villains: There are countless villains that will try to trip you up on this weight loss journey. There will be people who don't believe in you. People who liked you better when you were bigger (haters). My biggest villain has, and always will be, food (remember those chili cheese tots?). I adore food. The unhealthier, the better. Maybe it's a southern thing, or a fat kid thing, but when I saw one of those "I run so I can eat" workout tanks it SPOKE to me. I've been stuck at the same weight, give or take four pounds, since the end of July. I lost 83 pounds in 14 months and now I'm maintaining like my life depends on it. But I want more! I am capable of more. But there's that age-old villain lurking in every fast food drive thru, calling out to me...
Star-Crossed Lovers: You are your own worst enemy in this weight loss love triangle. You constantly want what you can't/shouldn't have (chili cheese tots, anyone?) and you have to fight through the desire. It's a lot like being in a really unhealthy relationship. Think of dear old Romeo and Juliet. If those kids would have taken a MINUTE to slow their roll and think about the choices they were making, they could have saved us all a lot of trouble. But then I wouldn't have been able to teach the joy of Shakespearean tragedy to my poor freshmen...and then they wouldn't be the fine, upstanding young men and women they are today. Make good choices, do good things- I would tell my students this a lot, and the same applies for my star-crossed love of Salted Caramel Mochas. Ain't no way to "skinny" one of those bad boys. You just have to make sure the good choices outweigh the bad. Otherwise you might end up stabbing yourself or drinking poison from an apothecary. Or a venti frappucino with whip from Starbs. Same difference. 
Award-Winning Cinematography: One day, after lots and lots of good choices, you will wake up and see the changes in your body. Your jeans will fit just a little bit better. Your arms will get a little more defined. And then, maybe one day you'll catch a glimpse of yourself in a storefront window and not realize it's you, because that girl is way skinnier than you and there's no way that's you but oh wait I have that jacket and those are my sunglasses and HOLY CRAP THAT IS ME.
Heroine in Disguise: Again, you. You have been in disguise for so long, and you're finally coming out of your shell. You're proud of the changes you've worked so hard for. You LIKE getting dressed (even though you have, literally, six outfits that fit that aren't workout clothes). Your smile is getting more and more real because you love yourself, not just the inside anymore either. The outside is finally starting to match the inside. You know how far you've come, and you are shining just a little bit brighter than you were before.
Outfit 2 of 6
Cliffhanger: The slip-ups, the bad choices, the skipped workouts...they're gonna happen. They will happen, and they will derail you for as long as you let them. That's where the cliffhanger comes in. You get to decide what direction you will go. You get to choose your next challenge. You get to write your own story. And that power, the power that's within your hands, is what keeps you coming back for more. It's the cliffhanger at the end of each and every far will you push yourself tomorrow? How many miles will you run? How many reps can you do? How will you make yourself better? And how will you make sure that you come back stronger and fitter in the "new season" of your miniseries? The beauty of it is that YOU get to decide.

The miniseries starring me?
I. Just. Cannot. Get. Enough.
And I'm so excited to see what happens next.

No comments:

Post a Comment